Some Things Are Better Left Unfed

Whoever coined the expression "sleep like a baby" needs a hole drilled in his head. I say "his" because if that phrase had come from a woman, the meaning would have been much different:

Bethesda: "Ah, Hilga, I trust ya slept like a baby?"

Hilga: "Argh, that I did, Bethesda." (Can't explain the indistinguishable accent. Just go with it.)

Bethesda: "Hooyah! It breaks me heart to hear it."

Hilga: "Ay, first I fell to my bed, plagued with the exhaustion."

Bethesda: "Grumph!"

Hilga: "Bah, a mere two hours pass and I wake, the tears leaking from me eyes."

Bethesda: "Narf! Why was the anger wit ya, Hilga?"

Hilga: "Bof, I can tell ya not. Lo, the crying still grew louder!"

Bethesda: "Ahi! What then happened?"

Hilga: "Eeoo, twas so strange - the tears stopped their magic and I went back to the sleeping place."

Bethesda: "Grffph. Then you rested with the night spirits?"

Hilga: "Humph, I fear not. One more hour passed and the spell happened again."

Bethesda: "Sockamagee!"

Hilga: "Goo, by time number three, I nourished myself with the nectar from the cow, expelled the excess down me dressing gown and THEN I rested with the night spirits."

Bethesda: "Vroot!"

I rest my case.