Little Mouth, Big Embarrassment

It came as quite the shock when the dentist announced, "You have a small mouth." Of all the words I thought I would hear in my life, these were the least expected. My reply? "My mother will have one hell of a laugh over that revelation."

Apparently my mouth is so small, an adult-size toothbrush is too large to reach the back of my teeth, hence the cavities, crowns, etc. that have a home back there. And so I was given a directive to start brushing with a children's toothbrush.

Have you shopped recently for a kid-size chomper cleaner? They only exist in bright color combinations covered with Disney or Nick Jr. characters. I remember as a child the highlight of toothbrush shopping being picking a color from about five options. Now it's impossible to find a tiny toothbrush that isn't ridiculously childlike.

And so now I brush my teeth with the help of Dora and Diego:

Thank goodness I don't have any slumber parties on the calendar because this is not the easiest thing to explain away and not have people wondering just how desperate I am to revisit my youth.